American Ultra

Dustin: 3 of 5 stars Nick: 3 of 5 stars Average: 3 of 5 stars (Woozy canary)

Dustin: ‘Murican Ultra is a spy thriller/stoner comedy genre mashup. The plot echoes Doug Liman’s The Bourne Identity, but set in the fictional backwoods of Liman, West Virginia. Mike (Jesse Eisenberg) is a CIA “asset” who has been trained to brutally murder people with everyday objects. ‘Topher Grace is a yuppie agent bent on killing Mike for no reason other than he’s a “security risk.” Mike and his girlfriend Phoebe (Kristen Stewart) are on the run from the CIA as the government wantonly kills every American citizen who in the area.

Nick: American Ultra is a lively film that can be considered an amalgamation of all other films of the same genre. While not being nearly as good as it could have been, Eisenberg and Stewart are enjoyable to watch as the stoner lovers who just want to leave town together (Harold and Kumar). The two main actors had great chemistry, and I couldn’t shake the idea that this was a sequel to Adventureland.

Dustin: This basically followed the same premise as The Bourne Identity. They are both about an “asset” or “agent” suffering from a fictional mental condition (a form of amnesia in Bourne that acts as a kind of factory-reset for his brain, and mental programming in American Ultra). Both are being hunted by the CIA while they are running blind with no understanding of what’s happening to them.

The way other critics are discussing American Ultra is a lot like how I see the Bourne movies. Unlikely plots with CIA assassins being graphically killed off with everyday items. I liked American Ultra as a parody of Bourne, but I wish they would have committed to that idea a little better.

Nick: That seems to be the general consensus. The film tries a bit of everything, but never commits to any genre. This never bothered me, though I do admit it could have been a lot of better if it did so. The film has been getting many negative reviews with the average reviewer saying it was uneven and the characters one-dimensional. I think these people weren’t aware that American Ultra is more of a comedy, and in comedies characters are often one dimensional. It’s normally something that isn’t brought up when discussing comedies, but is the one constant I found when reading other reviews. As in all comedies I’m able to let it slide if I’m enjoying myself, and I did that and more. I had a great time, but I know comedies are often the most disagreed upon films between viewers because we all have our own brand of humor. Sandler!!!

Dustin: I didn’t think this movie was uneven. It established a tone and pretty much stuck with it. But if this was supposed to work as a Bourne parody, there wasn’t much indicating that. I think most people would miss the name of the fictional town was from the director of the first Bourne movie (I’m not counting the ‘80s TV movie). I’m still not sure if we saw a spoof or homage. I would have liked a little more wink-wink-nudge that they were doing a Bourne parody, the way the Austin Powers movies brilliantly satire the Bond films.

Nick: The secondary characters were pretty useless beyond Walton Goggins and John Leguizamo. Goggins as the arsassin (arsonist/assassin) and Leguizamo as the drug/firework dealer are the reason the film kept in the realm of comedy when the other characters were so bland and played it straight. Topher Grace, Connie Britton and Bill Pullman could have been played by less recognizable faces considering the lack of depth they had to achieve. I love seeing all three of these actors, but the parts would have been better served if they were somewhat more comedic or in the film less or not at all. More than anything I love seeing Tony Hale, and his comedic scenes were perfect, but he was also an unnecessary piece in this jumbled puzzle of pointlessness.

Dustin: The movie did well as a comedy. Most of the jokes landed, but I admit I was bored during the expository scenes. That could have to do with the one-dimensionality of the characters, or just that it all felt a little too familiar, being a Bourne identical.

Nick: I actually love the Bourne trilogy because of the action and the characters, and I think it led to the revitalization of the Bond series as their action is more parkour and all the characters are more well-rounded. I would never argue that they show a realistic side to spycraft or someone suffering amnesia, but they did all the other facets to a certain degree that caring about truth seems ridiculous these days when talking about a Hollywood film franchise. I would of course rather have it be as real as possible, but then that would upset the fan base of the books, which I’ve heard are as close as they come to being a true adaptation. Damn you I Am Legend!!!

Dustin: The Bourne books and movies are nothing alike. They just share titles and the basic premise of a former assassin who has amnesia. The first book had a fun premise, and they do well creating an atmosphere. But the second two are worthless lumps of concrete. To the movies’ credit, they are actually better than the books.

Nick: The last thing I’ll say is that I hated the first scene! I closed my eyes and refused to watch. It shows the entire film in a quick flashback starting with Eisenberg in jail as he remembers what led him to this point. It’s a useless gimmick that is there because it looks cool, but adds absolutely nothing to the story. Are we not already in the theater because we are curious as to what happens so we don’t need a quick trailer in the film before we see the movie? It did make me think of the time I went to a brand new theater to see A Million Ways to Die in the West and they played the trailer for the movie before the show started! That is hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Dustin: 4 of 5 stars Nick: 4 of 5 stars Average: 4 of 5 stars (Live canary)

Dustin: The Man from U.N.C.L.E. brings the silly 1960s TV series to the big screen as a silly movie. It stars British actor Henry Cavill as CIA agent Napoleon Solo, American actor Armie Hammer as KGB agent Illya Kuryakin and Swedish actress Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina) as German mechanic Gaby.

Nick: Do you think Henry Cavill impressed enough to get that future Bond role?

Dustin: Yeah, I cynically mentioned before this movie this was “Henry Cavill’s James Bond audition.” But after seeing it, I wouldn’t say that. He looked every bit like Bond, but his character reminded me a lot of Roger Moore, with the cool, affected delivery and tongue-in-cheek attitude throughout. I think he played Napoleon Solo, not James Bond-wannabe.

The movie is about Solo and Illya, agents of opposite forces tasked with finding a female mechanic named Gaby. Solo has to get Gaby out of East Germany so she can help the CIA find her nuke-building Nazi father. Illya has to stop Solo, using lethal force if necessary. Once the CIA and KGB learn the nuke is near completion, they force Solo and Illya to team up and work with Gaby to find her father.

Nick: The movie was well paced and every scene at least had a modicum of action or comedy, which helped set the tone throughout. The audience seemed to laugh at every joke, and the action was shot in some unique ways that gave this cinephile a cinerection! Guy Ritchie hasn’t made a film I have liked since Snatch (which I love) but he did The Man From U.N.C.L.E. proud.

Dustin: I haven’t seen the old TV series, but I’d like to so I can compare Cavill’s performance to the character played by Robert Vaughn. I was a little taken out of the movie by Cavill’s approach, but I can’t deny it wasn’t unique, and I think I’d appreciate it more if I knew he was being true to the source material.

I really liked Ritchie’s writing and direction here. The style, substance, lighting and framing all resembled 1960s psychedelic films. But the movie is a little too self-aware and the production is too amped up to be a ‘60s film. I’d call it a ‘60s-style movie with a postmodern sensibility.

Nick: While Cavill’s portrayal of Solo took me out of the film as well, he just happened to be my favorite part. Every remark and smirk made me think of an homage to classic spy films where the American is always just so goddamn cool, like the scene where he hops on a truck after falling off a boat Illya is driving and he finds red wine and a sandwich in a basket. While his temporary ally is being chased around he enjoys that fine random meal that some Italian henchman is going to regret leaving in his car later. (I wish that was an after-credits scene.)

Dustin: That was one of my favorite scenes as well, and when I finally warmed up to Cavill. That’s pretty much exactly what I would have done in that situation, so I was able to relate then.

We both talked about the early scene in Blaul Part: Mall Cop 2 where his grandma gets hit by a truck and it is supposed to be funny. I gave an objective reason why it wasn’t funny. You said it would have been funny in a dark comedy. Here we both laughed pretty hard when a man gets electrocuted to death. This movie establishes its tone effectively and delivers some good dark humor.

Nick: Another thing that caught my attention was how sexuality was suggested rather than shown. There is quite a bit of sex going on behind the scenes, and there is a nice side-boob shot, but there is no sex scene and none of the main characters end up sleeping together (a spy staple). Though it did come pretty close when Solo and Illya argue about what is considered high fashion for a woman. I really thought they were going to be gay after that scene. They both argued so vehemently over the topic. I guess they just really know their stuff.

Dustin: We don’t see the sex scene between Solo and the bad chick, but we sort of hear it. It was more of a comedic bit than a character-developing plot point. That was another scene I really enjoyed.

Anything else to add?

Nick: Tupac is alive and in witness protection!

Dustin: In that case, I’ll just say The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is a stylish, comedic and entertaining throw-back to Cold War-era spy films. I recommend seeing it when it opens this Friday.

Shaun the Sheep Movie

Dustin: 4.5 of 5 stars Nick: 4 of 5 stars Average: 4.25 of 5 stars (Live canary)

Dustin: Shaun the Sheep Movie brings the beloved BBC claymation shorts to the big screen. After the sheep’s antics cause their farmer to end up in the Big City with memory loss, Shaun the Sheep and Bitzer the Dog lead a team of plucky sheep to rescue their farmer.

Nick: I’ve never seen the show, but the movie is virtually flawless. I say “virtually” because the only thing that can be considered a flaw is that it’s aimed at children, which is obvious when the doctor writes on his sheet “Memory Loss” instead of “amnesia” or some other term for a certain type of memory loss. Though it might be aimed at children, adults will still find the whole movie enjoyable and worth repeated viewings. This might alleive some parents from having to watch Frozen yet again--that is once it comes out on DVD.

Dustin: I discovered Shaun the Sheep maybe a year ago through my daughter. She tends to get her hands on her mom’s Kindle Fire and somehow finds these videos on YouTube (the 2-year-old clearly understands the technology better than me). She was watching them all the time and saying “Sha-sheep, baaaaa!” So I thought, What is this crap? and watched some of the videos with her, like a responsible parent. I’m sure I can think of other instances where I’ve been a responsible parent, too. I immediately found the show charming, and eagerly took her to see this movie opening weekend.

I praise the movie for being able to keep a 2-year-old’s attention for almost 90 minutes. For adults, it is a work of art. I am getting burned out on all the computer-animated films of the past 20 years, so seeing a good ol’ fashioned claymation film was like a breath of fresh air.

Nick: All the comedic bits in the movie ranged from amusing to hilarious. My favorite involves the crazy-eyed dog in the pound who won’t stop eyeing down Bitzer, and during the credits there is another funny bit involving the dog! Another one would be when Shaun is trying to get a duck to help him with something, but has to bribe him first. The scene is shot like a drug deal, but its contents are pieces of bread. The duck looks through each piece and he demands more for whatever his undertaking is, and Shaun proceeds to take one more piece that he had hidden and puts it in the pile.

Dustin: The movie is charming throughout. Something about the appearance of the sheep just puts a smile on your face, and you’re in a mood to laugh. Even the lowest-common-denominator jokes get a chuckle, where the same joke would get a frown or a groan if it were in the new Vacation movie.

Nick: I think because when a character farts in this movie the reaction by Shaun is yuck, but then he gets on with whatever action his character was undertaking. If that was in a movie like Vacation the actor would make obscene faces and the farts would be drawn out and played for the most laughs (when they don’t realize that less is more--sometimes).

Dustin: My only criticism is the plot felt over familiar, although I can’t quite recall a movie with a similar plot, I felt like I had seen it before and knew where it was heading. But as a device to deliver amusing sight gags to children, it works.

Nick: It was stupendous, and I’ll probably see it again within the week. I wish the sheep were drawn a little different from one another. Only Shaun and the baby stood out, every other sheep was background, which is fine, but since they show up throughout the whole film I think it would have been better to differentiate them more.

Dustin: Apparently all the sheep have names. I think they looked different enough. I can’t tell one real sheep from another.

Nick: But it’s an animated film and reality is not what is strived for! I assumed all the sheep have names and so did the dog on the show, but I had no clue his name was Bitzer until you mentioned it earlier. I’m guessing there was a food bowl with his name or something.

Dustin: It was in the opening “credits.” I didn’t know the dog’s name until then.

I’d recommend this movie to kids, families and lonely adults (sorry!). Kids deserve movies that don’t treat them like mindless sheep who’ll be happy with anything. That’s why I wholeheartedly recommend Shaun the Sheep Movie.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Dustin: 3.5 of 5 stars Nick: 3.5 of 5 stars Average: 3.5 of 5 stars (Live canary)

Dustin: Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is about International Monetary Fund secret agent Tom Cruise, who must circumnavigate the globe for action to happen. Director Christopher McQuarrie said, “Action!” and action just happened. Some action leads to other action. The plot was almost as hard to follow as Incoherent Vice. I can explain the overall story, but I had a hard time following it, not always sure why we were in a new location, what Tom Cruise was trying to accomplish during the underwater level.

Nick: Hunt (hard H sound) went to those new locations because that is where the Syndicate would be on their next mission. The underwater scene was pretty silly. They have all this tactical armor, but they don’t have a piece of equipment to help extend your stay underwater? But it was fun…

Dustin: The movie was basically about Tom Cruise trying to prove the existence of a secret organization, the specter-like Syndicate. He teams up with an MI6 agent who is under deep cover within the Syndicate, and together they are trying to destroy it.

I guess I shouldn’t complain about realism in a movie like this, but I was wondering what a British guy (Simon Pegg) was doing working at CIA headquarters. This wasn’t a comedy like Spy, where you could overlook Jason Statham’s presence there. I also laughed when Alec Baldwin criticised the IMF for doing the sort of things the CIA does.

Nick: I recently showed Team America: World Police to someone who had never even heard of the movie! Alec Baldwin’s pleas to the council reminded me of one of Alec Baldwin’s many speeches in TA:WP. In other words I laughed whenever he was on screen.  

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol was such a fantastic action film it’s hard not to compare this semi-lacklustre film to its predecessor. I don’t think any aspect of the film is equal to or better than M:I-GP. There was a great comedy bit of Tom Cruise being forced into action after being dead for a minute. He is forced to drive a car in a high speed pursuit but keeps crashing into everything as Simon Pegg sits shotgun freaking out about the whole situation. Immediately after the car chase, Hunt jumps onto a motorcycle and is able to ride it without fault, and although it was a very entertaining scene I’m a little wary about the amount of sense it makes. Wouldn’t he still be a shitty driver but on a much more dangerous vehicle?

Did that make sense? I haven’t had my coffee yet

Dustin: Makes more sense than the movie.

The reason huge stars like Cruise are cast in movies like these is because we’re supposed to think this is happening to Tom Cruise--it doesn’t matter what the character’s name is--and therefore we’re supposed to care more.

Having said that, I actually like Tom Cruise. He certainly gets a lot of undeserved hate for jumping on Oprah’s couch 10 years ago. It’s hard to believe he’s 53. I’m 21 years younger than him, but my body more closely resembles a 53-year-old’s, while his looks more like mine in my mid-20s (feels so long ago). He also has a young face. I think he could continue being action man for a few more years. I wouldn’t say he has a wide range, though. He’s always Tom Cruise (except for his brilliant role in Tropic Thunder).

Nick: I actually loved it when he jumped on that couch because celebrities normally have PR people to control them, but he was like, Fuck it, I’m jumping on this goddamn couch! Interviews with celebs are often boring, simple answers that make the celeb more endearing, but not that interview--it still gets brought up 10 years after the incident. That’s pretty crazy!

I was kind of upset about Jeremy Renner’s whittled down role. He was awesome in the last one and his character’s story was great, but here he seems like Hawkeye: a pretty useless member of the team.

Dustin: Like you said, the movie was pretty fun. It reminded me of a Pierce Brosnan-era Bond film. A little over-the-top and contrived, but chock-full of imaginative action set-pieces.

Pixels

Dustin: 3 of 5 stars Nick: 2 of 5 stars Average: 2.5 of 5 stars (Woozy canary)

Dustin: In Pixels, man-boy Adam Sandler and President Kevin James do battle with alien space weapons modeled on 1980s arcade games. After aliens discover a pod sent to space with Earth culture and technology, they have interpreted the contents as a threat, and sent our 1980s pop culture back to Earth in weaponized form.

Nick: I remember the day I heard they were making a full-length feature out of a fantastic short film called Pixels (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugV6cLgwomo). I was super excited, and years later it became an Adam Sandler vehicle and all my dreams came crashing to the floor. The jokes and characters are so juvenile I really wanted the aliens to win because they would be more interesting to follow if there happens to be a sequel, and plus I HATE Adam Sandler films. Also I believe Peter Dinklage’s character is based off Billy Mitchell from the documentary King of Kong: A Fistfull of Quarters, which was a very nice touch since Mitchell may be film’s greatest villain! See that movie instead of Pixels.

Dustin: When I first saw the trailer, I thought, What a great concept. Then they showed Adam Sandler and Kevin James, and I thought, Oh, fuck. Then I thought, I’ll give it a chance. Maybe Adam Sandler will go back to form, like Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison.

I gave this movie a lukewarm positive rating because I thought the pixelated video game aliens looked awesome, and those parts of the movie were good. The story lent itself to the use of CGI. The “plot” was perfunctory. When I saw Kevin James as the president, I thought, Yeah, right. I liked the supporting actors, like Peter Dinklage and that guy who is like the poor man’s Jonah Hill (remind me of his name).

Nick: Josh Gad, the voice of the snowman in Frozen.

Dustin: That’s right. When we saw Frozen before sneaking into Oldboy, I thought the snowman was voiced by Jonah Hill.

Anyway, Adam Sandler was the worst part of this movie. He just looked tired. He doesn’t have that raw energy he had on Saturday Night Live and his album What the Hell Happened to Me? At least this movie had good production value and it looked like some people were trying. But this would have been a better movie if Adam Sandler and Kevin James weren’t in it. Or were only supporting roles.

(Full disclosure: Once upon a time, I was a huge Adam Sandler fan. I liked his early comedies, despite their low-brow nature. I still like What the Hell Happened to Me?, even though one skit is an eight-minute fart joke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUvKegVZuRA)

Nick: The only scene where I felt any joy was when our heroes had to be the ghosts to stop the Pac-Men from destroying the city. Beyond that scene I never had any fun, including the CGI from any particular scene. It didn’t work for me, especially in the first scene of Adam Sandler and the army facing off against Centipede. I never played the game, but I assume that the parts of the centipede that are shot burst with a blue flame or something. It didn’t look good to someone who doesn’t know the game. I wonder if non-gamers would feel that way about the whole movie. I recently have been going to a local arcade a lot and have become obsessed with Q*Bert, which I had never played before. What they did with Q at the end made me quite sad.

Dustin: I played Centipede quite a bit as a kid at La Pizza Cellar in Rockaway Beach, Missouri. I loved that game. But you bring up an interest point. Anyone old enough to have played that game is probably too mature for this movie. Even some young whippersnappers like yourself who never had a chance to play the game are too mature for it. The film’s target audience--boys ages 12 to 14--would have no idea what was going on.

Nick: It’s funny that Michelle Monaghan and Peter Dinklage are the two best actors in this film and they have the least amount of screen time. You would think being a better actor would get you the better role. Or you would hope, I guess. What Michelle’s character has to go through in this movie is the definition of horror. Her husband leaves her for a younger woman and she falls apart in front of Adam Sandler hiding in her closet on the floor drinking wine. Oh women… so fragile. And after hating Sandler for two-ish days, she seems to grow a liking to him, and then in another two-ish days shes in love with him. I need to rewatch What Women Want to understand her actions a little better, because maybe I don’t know what they want.

Dustin: I also liked the appearance of Toru Iwatani, the real-life creator of Pac-Man (speaking of casting). The Pac-Man sequence was featured heavily in the trailer, and it is probably the best part. But you’re right about Monaghan’s character arc. It is obvious from the get-go her and Sandler will end up together at the end, and their scenes together just feel like they were included in service of that end.

The most disappointing thing about this movie isn’t really Adam Sandler, just that they could have done better with the material.

Adam Sandler clearly knows how to raise money for a movie. I think as an artist, however, he has bowed out long ego. He should use his business acumen to be a producer and stay out of the creative process.

Nick: Crazy thing I just learned: it only cost $8 million more to make Pixels than Grown Ups 2.  How insane is that?! http://www.boxofficemojo.com/showdowns/chart/?id=sandlerdecline.htm

Instead of trying to make a good movie, they made a film that will make good money. Which it could have if they hired an imaginative director/writer and an exuberant cast, but this was a safer bet for the producers. Which is funny because it's actually not doing well at the box office. Maybe Sandler will stop getting projects he didn't create for himself! We can only hope.