Cockneys vs Zombies

Dustin: 4 of 5 stars Nick: 3 of 5 stars Average: 3.5 of 5 stars (Live canary)

Dustin: Cockneys vs Zombies is the latest zombie-comedy, a genre which includes Shaun of the Dead, Planet Terror, Warm Bodies, Go Goa Gone, and World War Z.

What did you think of Cockneys vs Zombies, Nick?

Nick: Mildly amusing and not very disturbing for a zombie movie. Does not have as much gore as I like in my independent zombie flicks ala Dead Alive.

Dustin: I liked it more for the comedy than the gore. I’m really reviewing this more as a comedy. I thought it was mildly amusing throughout, with a few good laughs.

Nick: The only parts that almost got me to laugh are the scenes with Alan Ford (Brit gangster from Snatch). Killing zombies is what that man was born for!

Dustin: There were some great visual gags, which I won’t describe in too much detail because then it won’t be funny watching them. But one involves a zombie mother and a baby, and the other has a zombie chasing an elderly man in a walker.

Nick: The movie had promise, but no setup became resolved. Even the end is up in the air.

Dustin: Which setups didn't pay off?

Nick: Mostly character setups. I feel that the characters who were killed off were the more interesting ones and had the most to offer, while the ones who lived were pretty bland as they didn’t offer any contrast from each other. They were all moral, family and “innocent.” The black guy should have lasted longer because he provided a character that the rest of the story could have used... someone to contrast what they are all saying. Everything is kind of smooth the last half of the film.

Dustin: I would have liked the black character to have lasted longer too, mainly because he provided so many laughs.

I agree the two brothers who were the main characters were a little too innocent. Or maybe their innocent sides and criminal sides didn't mesh well together. They are two goodie-two-shoes who drive meals to nursing homes, but decide to rob a bank so their grandpa won’t have to move to another nursing home. I still didn't see how robbing the bank would have helped. I assume the city had already zoned the area for the luxury apartments, and just having money wouldn't change the decision. But I guess they needed a reason to have the gun-toting black guy and the two hostages...

Nick: Yes, to put it simply all the main kids who live are pretty much the same in a moral compass kind of way.

What did this movie give you that other zombie-comedies haven’t delivered?

Dustin: Eighty-seven-year-old Pussy Galore with a machine gun.

Nick: She is still smoking hot!

Dustin: Do you think the zombie-comedy genre is played-out?

Nick: Many genres are played out, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t gems out there to dig up. I think zombie films are a favorite for up-and-coming directors, which is why there are so many independent zombie flicks.

Dustin: I heard horror movies in general are easy to get the greenlight for because they have a built-in audience and can be produced cheaply. That may be the reason fledgling directors make horror films. I think if a director can make convincing special effects with a shoestring budget and produce a genuinely scary movie, they have what it takes to make bigger films. But I am pretty much tired of zombie movies, and while I enjoyed this film, I think I have seen enough zombie-comedies.

Nick: Horror and romantic comedies get an easy greenlight, which is why on Rotten Tomatoes they mostly all have low scores.

I guess what keeps me going in Zom-Coms, if you will, is Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive and Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead.  Dead Alive has more gore than you could possibly imagine, and Shaun of the Dead has the same amounts of horror as it does comedy. Those are my tent poles that I compare all Zom-Coms to.

Dustin: This movie wasn’t very gory, but it did have its moments. The almost entirely decomposed zombies in the opening sequence were well-done, as was the scene where a zombie had bitten onto our black hero, and another character shot it in the head, but the front of the face stayed attached. Other than that, the zombies just looked like extras with a little blood makeup.

Nick: The first scene’s gore built the idea up in my head for what Cockneys vs Zombies was going to be but after that amazing sequence there was no more brilliant gore to be had.

Dustin: They probably ran out of money after that.

Would you recommend it?

Nick: For sure! Its only 80-some minutes long, and you can rent it for a week on Amazon for $7. Grab seven of your friends, and I know all of our readers at least have seven friends (no losers here), then it will only be $1. That’s my math for the day!

You?

Dustin: I’d recommend it for anyone who is looking for a comedy that will provide enough laughs without wearing you out.

Nick: I look forward to the sequel and the inevitable Broadway musical starring Hugh Jackman.