Top Five

Dustin: 3 of 5 stars Nick: 2.5 of 5 stars Average: 2.75 of 5 stars (Woozy canary)

Dustin: Top Five stars Chris Rock as a thinly veiled Chris Rock named Andre Allen. It’s a Day-in-the-Life drama misbilled as a comedy in which Andre is shadowed by a New York Times journalist doing a piece on him as he’s preparing for the release of a new movie and an upcoming tabloid wedding. It also has cameos from all of Chris Rock’s friends.

Nick: Top Five is for people who wanted Funny People to be more of a romantic comedy cliche. The first half of the film has many good qualities, and the cliches are just floating around the screen, but have not becoming active yet. Though, sadly, the last half of the movie was cliche after cliche.

Dustin: I haven’t seen Funny People, but I somehow got the idea it was similar to this movie. I knew it was about a comedian who’s lost his roots and going through a midlife crisis.

I’m a little puzzled by the high rating this movie has on Rotten Tomatoes (90 percent as of this writing). The ads claim, “This is the funniest Chris Rock has been in years!” I was expecting a return to form for Chris Rock. His first two HBO comedy specials were probably the two funniest things ever made. His third comedy special was a bit bland and seemed to be an indication of where his career was heading. This movie starts with Chris Rock apparently practicing a routine on Rosario Dawson’s character. We don’t know what’s going on yet. The jokes fall flat. We learn she’s interviewing him, so perhaps he’s putting up an act while the real Chris Rock, I mean, Andre Allen, is still in a shell. Either way, the movie is never as funny as it should be, and the first scene is an indication of how many jokes would fall flat throughout the movie. I kept waiting for it to get funny. While there were funny moments, I think this deserved to be sold as a drama rather than a comedy.

Nick: I wouldn’t bill it as a drama, but only because all the dramatic moments in the films are the cliched ones. Chris Rock is an alcoholic who has been sober for 4 years, he’s getting married to a vapid reality star who’s having their wedding filmed for TV, Rosario Dawson is constantly texting an aloof boyfriend, and Rock stumbles across an old man on the street who keeps calling him “Hollywood” and then asks for money, and Dawson asks who he is and--gasp!--“It’s my father!” No way any of these situations are going to be changed around the climax for our characters to attain some catharsis.  

Dustin: The cliches didn’t bother me so much. I think the nonlinear storyline helped mask them a bit. It was obvious to me Rock would end up with Dawson fairly early on. The fact it is so predictable, the feeling we’ve seen this before, is an indication of being a cliche. My main complaint was just this movie just wasn’t that funny given all the talent behind it. It worked better as a study of a celebrity who’s lost touch with his roots and is now just going through the motions.

Nick: The cliches only bothered me because they are all introduced in the first act and are left there until the climax to where they’re ALL brought into fruition. I would have liked this movie more if it kept it more static and unfulfilled. The reality star is so over-the-top we know from the beginning it’s not going to work out. Rock spends the whole movie with Dawson, which spans one day, and he already knows she’s a better option. Wouldn’t his character have dated someone like the reality star when he was an alcoholic and someone like Dawson when he was getting clean because of course she is four years sober as well. So Rock had been with the reality star for more than four years and he decides to leave her the day before the wedding because she is freaking out a little. And all for a woman who, spoiler, ends up being his the very critic who bashed all his films.

Dustin: There were funny moments in the movie. My favorite part was probably the sequence with Cedric the Entertainer as a sleazy event promoter which leads to an awkward foursome including Rock, Entertainer and two hos. There were also funny cameos by Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld and (surprisingly) DMX singing Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile!”.

Nick: DMX!!!!!!

My favorite scene was when we see what Rosario Dawson’s boyfriend is interested in sexually. Call him the Knuckler!

Dustin: Who are your top five?

Nick: 1. Q-Tip
       2. Kanye
       3. Run The Jewels (El-P, Killer Mike)
       4. Eric B & Rakim
       5. Wu-Tang Clan

You?

Dustin: 1. Will Smith

2. Vanilla Ice

3. Eminem

4. The rapping granny from Wedding Singer

5. That "apple bottom jeans" song from a few years ago