Best & Worst of 2013

To sum up our first year on the Internets, we've each compiled a list of our top five favorite movies of the year. We've also included our worst five of the year for completion’s sake. Happy New Year! 

Dustin 

Top 5

Note: As of this writing, I have yet to see American Hustle or Inside Llewyn Davis.

1. Mud: This was a movie that did everything right and then some. Atmospheric, great characters and dialogue. Everything set up pays off at the end. Easily my favorite movie of the year.

2. Captain Phillips: This is the exact kind of movie that appeals to me. I love true stories of adversity. The casting of the non-Tom Hanks characters was perfect, and it was suspenseful throughout, even though I’m not a fan of Paul Greengrass’s jerky camerawork.

3. Disconnect: This was a quality indie film about how technology develops faster than our ability to cope with it. Four loosely connected stories unfold simultaneously as events from the Web impact real lives.

4. Emperor: This historical film about the investigation into whether Hirohito should be tried for war crimes was vastly underrated (it has 31 percent on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing). I think most critics missed the point on this one, focusing on the romantic subplot with a couple cliched moments, rather than on how brilliantly this movie brought to life post-war Tokyo.

5. This Is the End: This was the funniest movie about the Rapture since Left Behind.

Worst 5

Note: I had yet to see 47 Ronin as of this writing, although it would be in my bottom five.

5. White House Down: I watched this as an in-flight movie between South Korea and Indonesia. Nothing could have made that flight seem longer than this movie. Even with 17 minutes edited out for Asiana Airlines, it was still long and tedious. My time could have been better spent getting a head start on my expense report, or staring at the back of the seat in front of me.

4. Texas Chainsaw: This movie had some “dumb fun,” but it made a fatal error in asking us to root for Leatherface. They don’t need to make any more of these movies.

3. Tyler Perry’s Temptation: This may have been one of the dumbest things I've ever sat through, and I felt my butt cheeks clenching in embarrassment of the thought someone might see me in the theater watching it. Not even the best actors could have brought this trite and predictable script to life, and none of them were in this movie.

2. Movie 43: This was a notoriously bad low-brow sketch comedy that might be slightly shocking airing on the CW at 9 p.m. It was self-aware of how bad it was, which makes me question how it even got made in the first place. It did have a couple highlights, such as the superhero speed-dating skit and Terrence Howard's inspiring pep talk to his basketball team.

1. Scary Movie 5: If one movie of the year should be placed in a time capsule for 1000 years, it should be this. That way no one alive today will accidentally see this joyless PG-13 atrocity. And 1000 years from now the technology this was filmed on will be so obsolete, no one in the future will accidentally see it either. References to every movie of the past year aren't jokes. One revealing sequence was an overlong parody of Evil Dead. Not the Sam Raimi classic, mind you, but the reboot released a week before this movie, which should give you some idea of how fast this piece-of-shit was thrown together.

Nick

I would like to point out that I have yet to see Her, American Hustle, Nebraska, Upstream Color, 

Before Midnight, Blue Jasmine, Inside Llewyn Davis, Short Term 12 and Enough Said. 

Top 9 (in no particular order)

Mud (4.5 stars of 5): A fairy tale based in reality. Never have I ever thought that Matthew McConaughey would be in two of my favorite films of the year. Drink!

The Wolf of Wall Street (4.5 stars of 5): The most disgusting fun one can have in theaters this year. Has a pace and energy reminiscent of Goodfellas with characters who are more likable the more deplorable they become.

12 Years A Slave (4.5 stars of 5): Some of the scenes and shots in this film will be forever mentioned among film society. My favorite being when Solomon is left hanging from a tree branch with his toes hardly touching the slick mud beneath him. All this while people go about their day behind him. Some acknowledge him and some ignore him. The feeling we get is a harsh truth that this is not a rare sighting.

All Is Lost (4.5 stars of 5): What I wanted Gravity to be! Somehow engaging with so little plot and no conversation. All Is Lost had me on the edge of my seat for the whole movie.

American Hustle (4.5 stars of 5): The attention that Christian Bale gives to his toupee in the opening scene is akin to how much attention David O. Russell gives to all the details in his films.

This is the End (4 star of 5): This was my favorite film of the year until the rest of this lot was released. That speaks volumes on how well this movie was made.

Spring Breakers (4 stars of 5): I feel that everything that happened after Selena Gomez left the party was in her mind. Although she left, Gomez still told the story therefore all the visuals come from her and this is so interesting because all of her friends survive the gun fight. She’s imagining that all the partying has gone too far and has escalated into her fun-loving friends helping Alien in his drug war. She has hope that they will get out alive. I’m more pessimistic.

Frances Ha (4 stars of 5): Do you like the TV show Girls? Frances Ha has the same concept, but more endearing and no nudity.

Spectacular Now (4 stars of 5): The most realistic teens that I can remember seeing on film.

Worst 5

The Croods: There are jokes about how cave girls love shoes… (sigh)

Gangster Squad: Film noir is probably my favorite genre. I’m a sucker for it. Since this film became an idea I was excited. Gosling, Penn, Brolin, Mackie, Nolte, Stone! Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) as director! Too high expectations can really ruin a film, but it wasn’t only my expectations that ruined it.

R.I.P.D.: I had all but low expectations for this film, and it really was worse than I imagined. I wonder if it was made by the same production company as Men in Black?

Planes: I didn’t actually see this movie, so it's probably not fair to Disney's film. Well, it wasn’t fair for Disney to make a film that looks like their subsidiary Cars. Why would they do this if Cars is the worst-reviewed canon on Pixar's resume? Could it be because Cars raked in $8 billion in merchandise? That’s data from before Cars 2 was released!

Movie 43: Never has an hour and a half runtime felt like forever like this mess. Liev Schrieber made me laugh, but he is an excellent actor. No, I don’t hate Emma Stone, but she is in three of my worst five of the year.

The Wolverine (review, plus bitching about how Hollywood portrays 'poor' people)

Dustin: 3.5 of 5 stars Nick: 1.5 of 5 stars Average: 2.5 of 5 stars (Woozy canary)

Dustin: The Wolverine is an action/adventure comic book adaptation starring Hugh Jackman, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada and Atsuki Takeuchi. Like last week’s Only God Forgives, the latest X-Men movie is about a white douchebag in Asia.

What did you think of The Wolverine, Nick?

Nick: Ugh... the guy with the bow and arrow was sweet!

What did you like about The Wolverine?

Dustin: I mostly enjoyed it. I liked that The Wolverine’s immortality was taken away and he could no longer heal himself instantly. This gave the character limitations he didn't have before and added stakes to the story. I thought the movie blended The Wolverine’s brooding, dark countenance with the colorful and fun story effectively. I especially enjoyed the fight with yakuza above a speeding bullet train. However, I didn’t think it was as dramatically effective as recent superhero movies like Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man or The Dark Knight. I also thought they could have done more with the Japanese setting. As it is, it was more of a fantasy world of what white people think Japan is like, rather than the real thing.

(For more fictional yakuza antics, check out my series, Yakuza Dynasty, available from Amazon Kindle.)

Nick: Completely agree with your last assessment. If one more Asian talked about, “When I was a little child, this happened to me...,” I was going to get up and leave the theater. They also did the cliche of having the foreign person speak quickly in their own language in anger then explain what they said to the main character who only speaks English. To go back to you liking the fact they took Logan’s healing powers away, then why didn't it seem to hurt him when he takes out his claws, which hurt him in previous films when he did have healing powers? Also the love story is sadly developed. They spend a day together and then are willing to die for each other? This film was made for people who already knew the story and could connect the dots on why these things are happening. To end the rant, I would like to point out how lame the villains turned out to be--Viper and a scene of Silver Samurai.

Dustin: Also, The Wolverine is supposed to be immortal, but he inexplicably looks 13 years older than he did in the first X-Man film. Talk about a plot hole!

What did you think of the casting? I didn’t much care for Rila Fukushima. I couldn’t understand her English at times (and I’m used to hearing Japanese Engrish), and I thought she looked like an alien wearing a wig.

Nick: The only casting that can be well regarded is Will Yun Lee as Harada (Bow-and-Arrow guy, Die Another Day) although his character ends up being a throwaway role. Fukushima's English problems didn't affect me considering how I probably wouldn't understand her in real life. Therefore, I kind of enjoyed that aspect of her, but at the same time her acting, as well with Svetlana Khodchenkova (as Viper) and Tao Okamoto (Mariko), who’s just a model, is just not very selling.

Dustin: I thought Atsuki Takeuchi as Girl In Background At Ueno Station #14 was perfect. (FULL DISCLOSER: At-chan is my sister-in-law).

Haruhiko Yamanouchi did a great job as Yashida. They did a good job making him look younger for the Nagasaki sequence and older for the rest of the film. It never looked cheesy like other attempts to make actors look younger, such as Snape in his flashback in the last Harry Potter movie.

Nick: Yamanouchi's character was one of the most entertaining parts, but he spends most of his time off screen, so he is not enjoyed for long.

Dustin: I was going to talk about the cultural inaccuracies in the movie, but what’s the point? Although there were a few, particularly regarding the ninjas, they weren't too offensive or insulting to the audience’s intelligence like the ABC Family mini-series Samurai Girl, so I’ll hold my peace. But if you do want to see an accurate portrayal of Japanese culture through the eyes of American characters (although ridiculously wealthy American characters), see Lost In Translation.

Nick: Was Scar Jo rich in that movie? She seemed a little “poor” to me, and by that I mean she is supposed to be poor but her apartment rocks and she looks incredibly good, but as in her character doesn't have money.

Dustin: The hotel room she stays in at the Park Hyatt Tokyo for several weeks in that movie probably costs $1000 a night, judging by the size of the room.

Note: $1 U.S. = 98 Japanese yen

Nick: That’s what I’m saying... Do they actually say who she is and how much money she makes? Her boyfriend was a photographer without any high profile gigs. Bill Murray is rich and famous, especially in Tokyo. I was watching Road Trip last night, and they have this incredible dorm room, but they're all broke and could never afford such a dorm with that square inchage. So they are "movie poor."

Dustin: Hollywood is terrible about that. The “poor” characters in movies usually live in two-storey homes, but drive slightly older-model cars with a dent on one side. One thing I loved about the movie Mud earlier this year is that it has characters who live shanties on the Mississippi River or utilitarian apartments. You believed these characters and where they came from.

Nick: Mud comes out on DVD on my birthday... Just a gift suggestion.

Dustin: I’m getting you a $5 gift card to McDonald’s.

Nick: NOOOOOO!!!

http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

Nick: I might be biased against The Wolverine because the story the film is based off of is one of my favorite comic book stories. It feels trivialized. He loses his powers, but yet seems just as capable without them, so it feels phony. The screenwriters can just write that he loses his powers, but have him slit open his chest and reach in and grab his heart, as well as a whole bunch of events that would kill someone without healing powers.